Fall To Pieces
by xxTemarixx
Summary: All Anthony wanted was to be loved, but that's not what he got. /Ianthony. Oneshot/


**A/N: It's been a while, but I finally finished something! Enjoy!**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Smosh.  
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Anthony hated fighting with Ian. He hated when they disagreed over ideas or what to edit or when they would get annoyed with each other's laziness. They would scream and shout the harshest things that they could think of, but would never throw a punch.

But this time, the fight was entirely his fault and he knew it. He had walked in on Ian and his girlfriend kissing and jealousy took over. Quickly he slammed the door and went for a walk to the park near their house. He couldn't say he hated having these feelings for his best friend, but sometimes he wished they didn't ruin his life.

Every little thing about Ian drove him crazy and he had to constantly remind himself about self-control. It was so difficult when you wanted to lean over the table and kiss your best friend while filming _Lunchtime with Smosh_, or having to film a shot where you aware you were less than two centimeters apart.

Then when his self-control was only a single strand, he remembered that he could ruin ten years of friendship. That always put a stop to his actions and he would remain awkward for the rest of the day.

Ian had called him while he was still at the park, and he just snapped. He told Ian that his girlfriend was distracting him from Smosh, he was treating him like a co-worker instead of a best friend, and that he was ignoring his responsibilities.

In return, Ian told him that he needed to get himself a girlfriend and grow up. Anthony promptly ended the call and planned to sit on the bench until darkness fell, then go home when the only light was from the streetlamps. However, once the sun had set, he couldn't find the strength to move. He pulled his hat over his eyes and pulled his sleeves down to stay warm. It had grown colder since he left the house about five hours ago. Did Ian even miss him?

"Anthony?"

Anthony looked to see Ian walking towards him, dressed in jeans and his red jacket. His gorgeous blue eyes stood out in the night, so pure and innocent. Anthony cursed himself for even thinking something like that when he was supposed to be pissed.

He looked away and looked back to see no one. Damn it, he was imagining things now.

"Get a grip, Anthony," he said to himself, standing up. He stretched his stiff limbs before walking the familiar path back to his and Ian's shared house. He never got tired of walking or driving down the same path every day. Maybe it was because he was either with Ian or on the way to see him that made it so special.

He approached the house and noticed that the lights were on. It was almost midnight. Did Ian wait up for him?

Taking a deep breath, Anthony walked into the house.

He was greeted by the sight of Ian sitting on the couch, scribbling in their idea notepad. Ian looked up at the sound of the door, and Anthony saw relief wash away the concern on his face. Anthony expected Ian to say something, but instead he went back to writing in the notepad.

Anthony made his way to the other couch and sat down, pulling out his phone to distract himself. The television was off and the only sound other than the scratching of pen on paper was their breathing.

He wondered if Ian meant what he said. Anthony didn't want to lose their friendship over what Ian thinks is loneliness, when really it's jealousy. They're both stubborn, and Anthony won't apologize. Apologizing meant coming clean and he wasn't ready for that. Sure, his best friend knew he was gay (it hurt so much earlier when he said _girlfriend_), but not for him.

"How was your walk?" Ian asked, breaking the silence.

"Fine," he replied, still playing with his phone.

"Want to talk about it?"

"No." _Because I'm in love with you._

"Well... if you won't tell me the problem, I don't know how I can help..." Ian kept writing, avoiding Anthony's eyes.

"I gotta figure it out on my own I guess."_ You just need to stop being so freaking attractive._

Ian threw down the pen and paper and stood up. "What are we going to do then? You won't talk to me about anything anymore!"

"Well sorry I don't feel like talking! You never ask anyways."

"You wouldn't tell me anyways, you've been so distant lately."

"How would you know if you never ask?"

They were both standing now, hands clenched into fists. Ian took a deep breath and sat down on the couch.

"Well I'm asking now, what's wrong?" He sighed.

Anthony crossed his arms and looked away. "Thanks for asking, but you wouldn't understand."

Ian raised an eyebrow. "Oh and why is that?"

"Because you've never loved someone so much that they're all you think about and care about, but you'd rather stay silent for fear of losing them."

"I have felt like that," Ian stated, smiling. "I _do_ feel like that, for a special someone."

Anthony felt hope bubbling up inside him. Maybe this was it - maybe Ian did have feelings for him! He could feel his heart pounding and his pulse skyrocketing.

"Oh, for who?" He asked curiously.

"For Melanie of course! That's why I'm dating her, because I love her," Ian answered, as if it was the most obvious thing in the world.

Melanie. _Melanie._

Anthony felt his heart break into two. His stomach twisted and his face went pale. He was frozen, devastated. Ian didn't love him. Ian loved someone like Anthony loved him... but it wasn't Anthony. He could feel the tears well up in his eyes and ducked his head to hide them.

"Anthony? Hey Ant, are you okay?" Ian asked worriedly, standing up. "Are you okay?"

As fast as he could, Anthony maneuvered around Ian to the counter, grabbed the keys to the car, and walked out the door. He needed a long drive to clear his head, and some time away from Ian. He needed time to fix himself, to get over Ian.

He needed to stop himself from falling to pieces.


End file.
